Today, we celebrate men.
And not just any men: men who make babies! Also, men who adopt babies! Also, men who are with women who made babies with other men! Also, men who adopted babies and there are no women involved except those involved in making the babies! (Ok, so pretty much all men, except for men like me who have no babies. Except my cats.)
Look, men! Cigars!
And what's this? Could it be Captain Kirk?!?!

Extremely manly!
And what man would be complete without one of those blue and white shirts from 80's Wall Street movies?

It's business time!
Football! And not that wussy European football*, either! No!
And tools!!
Every man needs tools!
Every man needs tools!
And Harley Davidson motorcycles!
And Vegemite!

Because MEN at Work sang about it, that's why!
Somebody make me a sandwich!
And finally, what's more manly than man's best friend?

D'awww, who's a widdle boopsie boo? Izzit you? Yesh, it is!!
[looking up]
Oh, uh...hi, guys. Heh.
So. Um. Where were we?
Oh, right.
Alright, men! Sing it with me!
We're men!
We're men in tights. (Tight Tights!)
We roam through the woods
looking for fights.
We're men! (MANLY men!)
We're men in tiiiights,
When you're in a fix
Just call for the men in tights!
We're men in tights. (Tight Tights!)
We roam through the woods
looking for fights.
We're men! (MANLY men!)
We're men in tiiiights,
When you're in a fix
Just call for the men in tights!
(We're butch!)
Happy Father's Day Falker Satherhood, all.
*Update! Just so we're clear, when I say "European Football," I am referring to soccer, a game where gently bumping a player results in said player holding his face and screaming in agony while rolling around on the ground. I am in no way referring to Rugby, a game so manly that just typing it has caused hair to burst from under my shirt collar. Glad we cleared that up.
-john