Well, fortunately for you, bakeries still have lots of sweet, romantic options tailor-made to fit your snuggly bun's personality to a "t." Check it out:
For the co-dependent:
When your boyfriend starts crying, you'll know it's only because he's so happy.For the stalker:
Quietly delivered when they least expect it.*Hidden recorder that plays your personal greeting available for an additional charge.
For the hopeless romantic:
You see plastic frogs and crumbling icing.She sees a chance to fix you.
For the one who wants something sexy:
With extra sprinkles for that really intimate experience.For the Class Act:
A temporary tattoo for a permanent affectation. "Which doesn't need a permanent tattoo, baby, 'cuz your love is a tattoo on my heart. You feel me? My heart. "Seriously, I'm not getting your name tattooed on my chest. So stop asking."
For the kid at heart:
Hey, it's only as disturbing as you let it be.[...]
Which, in my case, is pretty darn disturbing.
[sing-song] "Who wants to suck the icing off Barbie's leeee-eeg?"
Yup. Disturbing.
