Sunday Sweets: Fun Wedding Cakes

If there's one thing I love, it's couples who have fun on their wedding day. Let loose a little, show some personality! And really, what better place is there to throw tradition to the wind than with the cake?

Submitted by Peter D., baker unknown. Anyone recognize it?

Dragonflies, roses, lightning, and a viking helmet?

Admit it: you wish you were invited to this reception.

This one will make your guests nostalgic for old-fashioned candy dots:

Sub'd by Tiffani W. and made by Lochel's Bakery

So sweet! And the fact that you won't end up with a mouth full of paper is the icing on the cake. Literally.


My fellow cat lovers may find the hand-painting on this next one absolute purrfection:

Sub'd by Lessa. Baker unknown.

It's like a painting in 3D!

And check out the amazing details in this south-of-the-border Sweet:

Sub'd by Kate and Trish and made by Kathy's Kakes

I love the individual tiles and teensy maracas.


For you cowboys and girls out there:

Sub'd by Tom G. Baker unknown

This reminds me of the Van Gogh cake (scroll down), with the icing blended to look like actual paint. It's a neat look, and great for you icing purists out there who don't like the taste of fondant.


Ever wanted to turn the traditional wedding cake on its head?

If so, then, voila!

Sub'd by Vanessa M., found via Brides Magazine

The Day of the Dead might seem an odd theme for a wedding cake, but there are tons of them out there. Personally, I just love all the bright colors:

Sub'd by Melanie B. Baker unknown

Check out the gorgeous designs on those sugar skulls!

If you prefer a more traditionally romantic theme, though, you can't go wrong with Romeo and Juliet:

Sub'd by Hatty I., made by Nouskie Noo's

Preeeetty. Just look at those sweet little roses, the vines, the sculpted balustrades...so much great detail, and simply divine with all that white.


Suppose you do want a traditional wedding cake, though, only with a twist.

In that case, how about having it delivered by turtle?

Made by Studio Cake

Squeeee!

And now from the other side:

Before you're overcome by the sheer adorableness here, notice that the turtle is only supported by his four legs. That's some impressive cake architecture going on there! I'm also digging the little 3D turtle freckles (do you call them freckles?) and the texture on his shell. Just amazing.


Seen a fabulous wedding cake lately? Then send it to me at Sunday Sweets [at] Cake Wrecks [dot] com!

Stairway to Heaven

I have to be honest: I've never really understood the whole wedding-cake-plastic-staircase thing. I mean, who first decided the wedding figurines might need to take a stroll down to one of the side cakes?

Not to mention this looks more like a video game level than a wedding cake.

"Ok, what you have to do is, hop over the leaf-shrooms, collect the heart rings, and then duke it out with the Moopa-Moosers down at the bottom. Oh, and watch out for the barrels."

Then, after providing this thoughtful pathway, the decorators go and make it completely inaccessible!

How are they supposed to get down there?

Or battle their way through all that foliage?

Granted, I can't think of a better place to put your plastic deer collection.

Of course, it goes without saying that all this extra height means you have to put a clear plastic light-up fountain under the cake. (Don't bother questioning it. You just have to.)

Mmm. Drippy.

You know what, though? These cakes still don't have enough going on. What do you say in addition to the stairs, tiers, figurines, and light-up fountain, we cover everything in Louis Vuitton?

Ah, rampant materialism climbs to new heights. I like it.

But it's STILL not enough. Can we get a few dozen miniature bridal party dolls, a Barbie cake, a few bolts of tulle, and the Amazon rain forest in here now, guys?

No, no, don't take away the stairs, fountain, or multiple topper figurines; we need those.

***

All set? Alrighty, let's take a look.

YES!! BEHOLD MY CREATION!! AHAHAHAHAHAAA!

Hey, Anony M., Genevieve F., April L., Anony M., Marla B., & Elle J., you must admit: this thing is so gosh-darn tacky it's almost kind of awesome.

Or...not.

A Day In The Life

Jen and I are often asked what it's like to be "professional" bloggers. How do we spend our days? Do we have a swimming pool filled with gold coins? Are there fantastic parties and gourmet ketchups? The answer to all these questions is yes. Jen even has a green dress. (But not a real green dress. That's cruel.)

That doesn't mean it's all fun and games, though. Sometimes we take naps.

In fact, I think I'll keep a diary for a day, just so you can see firsthand the "glorious life" of the "Professional Blogger." Enjoy!

------------------------------------------

1:00 pm - Woke up to cats hammering on door and yowling. Note to self: get thicker door. Also, new cats.

"Mrow?"

1:35 pm - Cats' yowls going super sonic. Ear plugs ineffective. Time for the Super Soaker.

"Mruh Mroh."

2:10 pm - Jen's awake. Cats are hiding. I ask in my best Kirk impression (complete with hand gestures), "JEN! Are... you... readytobe... funny? We come in peace, shoot to kill, shoot to kill!"

Jen:

Note to self: Avoid Kirk impressions before Jen's fully awake.

3:45 pm - Checked on Jen in the office. She has 27 browser tabs open and is humming "Loathing." So far, so good.


5:20 pm - Jen comes out of her office to reheat some "breakfast."

Pizza and Maalox: breakfast of champions.

7:20 pm - A yell from the office: "Oy! What're some puns for 'lactating?'"

7:32 pm - Final tally: Milking it, so cheesy, really sucks, staying abreast of the whole situation, whipped into a frenzy, creamy complexion, skim off the top, nipped a pair of area oreos

8:15 pm - Maniacal laughter coming from office.

8:21 pm - Loud sobs coming from office.

8:30 pm - Colorful swearing coming from office. Huh. Rapid mood swings may indicate low blood sugar. I bring Jen a cookie.

Effect is immediate. "Ohh, and also 'eat, drink, and be dairy!'"

10:45 pm - Heading to McDonald's for lunch.

Thank goodness we're not food bloggers. (Oh. Wait...)

12:20 am- Break time. Watching Castle with Jen.

*snorfle*

2:15 am- Jen heads back to the office. I'm off to bed.

(This was supposed to say "Just because." Seriously.)

3:35 am - Woken by a loud yell. Rushed out to find Jen staring horror-struck at a new e-mail:

"Why? WHY?!?"

4:04 am - Convinced Jen to come to bed. She lies in the dark, muttering, "Can't sleep. Lobster in blond wig will eat me."

I think it's going to be another long night.

Thanks to Lyle, James, Alistair, Carissa, Amanda M., Helen W., Elizabeth M., Kristin S., Eilen, Tyler O., Dana S., & Beatrice Y., for helping us avoid "real" jobs. Now: nap time!

Sick as a Dog

We've learned from a recent survey that 76% of our readers get their news exclusively from Cake Wrecks and the Fun Facts on the underside of Snapple lids. So today, in Part 12 of our medical news series, "Congrats! You're Contagious!," we'll be teaching you how to recognize an onset of Rectal Arthritic Bubonic Inner Ear Scurvy (aka "R.A.B.I.E.S.") in your furry friend.

Stage 1: Upon initial infection, your dog may show unusual signs of perkiness and energy.

Sparky may even rummage through your holiday scrunchie drawer and attempt to accessorize.

Stage 2: Several minutes after becoming infected, your dog may appear nervous or scared.

Hiding behind word-shaped shrubbery is common.

Stage VII: R.A.B.I.E.S. will cause Munchkin's eyes to water and turn a slightly pinkish hue:

Also known as the "Tammy Faye Baker Phase."

Stage 6: Foaming at the mouth:

After eating poo.

Stage 6: Lashing out with erratic behavior.

Also known as the "Your Kid's Gonna Need Therapy" phase.

Stage F: Dry, patchy skin.

Accompanied by KISS makeup and a wang beard.

Stage 9: Inexplicable weight gain.

And loss of limbs and neck.

So be sure to keep an eye out for any signs that your little Gnarls Barkley may be infected. After all, you don't want to experience the final phase of the R.A.B.I.E.S. virus:

Total protonic reversal.

Yeah. That's bad.

Thanks to Megan, Anna M., Katy P., Angela L., Jason, Stephanie A., Ashley J., Tiffany H., and Alexander B. Now stay tuned for parts 13 and 14 in our medical series: "Lady Lumps," and "Chlamydi-huh?"

Spelling Be

Look, spelling can be tricky. All those "words" with their pesky "letters" that have to go in a specific "order" to make some sort of "sense?" It's hard. So, we try not to judge too harshly when a decorator makes a minor mistake.

Like this:

In the baker's defense, how often do you use the word "happy" on a cake, anyway?

And abbreviations can sure be problematic:

Then again, how else would we know a cookie can be ready in five mountains?

And when there are multiple words on a cake, it really makes spelling those simple words that much harder!

Baker: "Whoa! Slow down there, buddy! What do I look like, a word processor?"

And don't get us started on "Huked on Phonics":

I'm guessing they saw "in Mississippi" on the order form and gave up.

Besides, when frustration levels are high it's just human nature to invent new words and letters:

You know, like "Aur" or a dotted "u." You barely have a prayer of getting those right.

And sometimes you need to take a lot of little breaks:

[shrug] Ah, well. "Better luck" next time, Lindsay!

Thanks Terry P., Stefani C., Cindy G., Tyler H., Christine M., & Lindsay W., although after these wrecks I think I need to sit a spell.

Easy, Cheesy, "Beautiful"

Bakers, are you running low on flotsam? Is your curling ribbon on back order? Are you fresh out of teddy bears?

Well, never fear! There are plenty of handy flotsam stand-ins lying around even the most basic of kitchens to save you from actually decorating any of your cakes! Just check out these double-duty doers:

- Styrofoam cups

[Image removed at baker's request. Check back sooner next time. ;)]


Add a few fake flowers snatched off your break room centerpiece, and voila! Instant flower vase!

- The Dollar Store's Clearance Bin

Granted, you'll have to pop next door to Duffy's Dollar Doo-Dad Depot, but the options there are virtually limitless:

And you thought you'd have to learn how to pipe roses. [shaking head] Tsk, tsk.


Or, if your budget is tight, just raid

- your kid's toy chest:

The good news is this isn't ridiculous AT ALL.

'Course, if you want something edible, (spoilsport) you could always go with

- ice cream cones:

Just be sure to fill them completely with icing. Remember: any bite of chocolate chip cookie without a mouthful of frosting is a bite wasted!

Or, for those extra special occasions,

- a dog bone:

Yeah. Chew on that, birthday boy.

Or, "impending-hip-surgery-boy," as the case may be.

Thanks to Laura, Mrs. McCutie, Erica D., Lisa, Sarah G., and Seth F., who all have a bone to pick with these wreckerators. Preferably one in chocolate.