Breaking News: Heeeere's Bobby!

Ok, all you guys who kept insisting the Popped-Eyes Sailor Blobs were actually Bob from Monsters-VS-Aliens, listen up.

Bob is blue.

Bob has one eye.

Bob...


Well, he looks like this:

"Yo homies! I'm bringing blobby back!"

This is the "official" Bob cake, made by Sugar Butter Flour and served at DreamWorks yesterday to celebrate the movie's release. Fortunately Jessica G.'s hubby works there, which is why we get to share in the gelatinous joy.

Speaking of gelatinous, though, wouldn't it have been awesome if they'd made him completely out of Jello? Sure, I'd rather eat cake, too, but Bompass & Parr (creators of the infamous burger-on-a-donut) have some nifty "Jelly" creations, some of which even glow in the dark:

Source

Cool, huh? Plus, slap an eyeball on that sucker and you've got yourself a Bob!

Heck, now I'm inspired to go make some blue jello mounds with eyeballs. Then I'll bring them to the IMAX theater, and chuck 'em at the candy-wrapper-crinkling, seat-kicking, cell-phone-answering, talking-the-ENTIRE-TIME pests who sit behind me. "Who's 3D now, jerk-faces? Huh? HUH? SHWA-POW! Bob in the face!"


Hm, maybe John's right. Maybe I'm not ready for the movie theater again yet.


Oh, and before anyone gives me grief, this is just Cake News, mmkay? Not Wrecks; Cake News.

UPDATE: Just learned from SuperPunch that Bob also visited the DreamWork's campus "in the flesh," as it were. Check out pics here.

Celebrating A Different Kind Of V Day

NOTE: this post contains material somewhat "adult" in nature.

I recently saw on Neatorama that "Tough Times are Good for Vasectomies". Apparently the current economic rough patch has more and more folks turning to the "cheapest form of permanent birth control".

So in addition to an increase in sales of frozen peas, I guess this means we'll also be seeing less of these:



And more of these:

I think my favorite part on this one is the random sombrero: like the doctor would come in, consult his clipboard, and say, "Ok, Mr. Smith, I am going to need you to remove all your clothes... but feel free to keep that bitchin' sombrero on."

And on a personal note, my hubby John would like to remind all of you fellas out there that the ol' snip-snip is only the cheapest form of birth control if you do it without general anesthesia, which, according to him, "would totally have been worth the extra two grand".

[eye roll] Men. A little scrotum-puncturing and tube-cauterizing and they turn into such babies.

Liz P., Michael W., & Jessica G., Ole!

Note: The "We have a runner" cake is by the fabulous Cakeworks - be sure to check their site for more hilarious designs.

Romance is Dead

Look, I don't want to come across as some non-happening, behind-the-times, totally square fuss pot*, but...

Wassup with all the undead wedding cakes?


Creepy-crawly bugs and tongue-kissing skeletons, oh my!

You'd think you'd only see something like this for a Halloween wedding - if ever - but zombie mania is infecting the masses, and like a gnawed off limb, it sure ain't pretty.


Ok, so that was a massive understatement. Bleeeech.

You don't need fancy tier cakes to pull off a "deadly" wedding theme, though. And if you can't afford the tongue-kissing skeleton topper, well hey, that's just what the good Lord invented edible photo paper for!


Yes, I am cheating a little here; this is actually just the groom's cake, not the wedding cake.

This is the wedding cake:

As if the toe tags, "Til Death" inscription and creepy "last embrace" foot positioning weren't enough, I think that's supposed to be ashes sprinkled down the sides. Perhaps this is the happy couples' way of telling their families they prefer cremation?

Guys, I'm telling you, if you want to gross your guests out do it the old fashioned way: by ordering a fruit filling and letting it sit out too long:


Voila! Bleeding cake!


Kathy T., Christine K., Anony M., and Manny & Jennifer S., thanks for the killer finds.


Alright, guys, you tell me: am I coming down too hard on undead wedding cakes? Have you seen a zombie/skeleton/vampire one done well? Then send it to me at Sunday Sweets [at] Cake Wrecks [dot] com, and maybe I'll feature it this Sunday.


*Particularly since I already did such a good job of that last Thursday.

UPDATE: To all the complainers in the comments: guys, lighten up. You really think I'm hating on goths because I think these cakes are Wrecks? Gimme a break! Wait'll you see this Sunday's selections, and *then* tell me I'm a goth-hater, ok? I'll show you how the undead look should be done.

Related Wreckage: Spooktacular Wedding Cakes

Do These Taste Chewy to You?

I think I've let the Star Wars fervor sparked by the awesomeness that was the Vader Baby Shower cake and Yoda's Stint in Cake Decorating die down long enough. Now it's time to visit the other side of the spectrum, where we will delve into the true mysteries of the galaxy, and ask the one question every brave soul must answer before continuing on his or her quest to become a true Jedi:

"Chewbacca? Is that you?"




Of course this question is often made more difficult by Chewy's striking resemblance to Big Foot:


His mixed lineage of both Ewok and Muppet ancestry:

Dirty Muppets, I might add.

And his constant, never-ending battle with constipation:

"Dude, what did I say about having 12 cheese burritos for dinner? Huh?"

Tanita S., Sarah S., & Kaye B., I know this is old news, but have you seen the Wookiee model nightstand? All the scruffy-looking Nerf herders have them.

UPDATE: You guys continue to amaze me with your awesomeness. Madalina, creator of the Constipated Chewy, wrote in to tell me she's NOT a professional baker - so that's a definite my bad - but that she's fine with it remaining here. "I still get a laugh looking at it," she wrote, "and hope that it makes other people laugh too!" Thanks, Madalina, and may I say it's my hope that someday ALL bakers have your grace and good humor?

And as for the rest of you: Be sure to check out Madalina's blog Duh-Licious and show her some love, k?

Have a Ball!

It's your birthday! Have a ball!




No, seriously. Have a ball:


"Look at all the extra care the baker took in crafting this lovely...round...spherical...ball-like thing for your birthday! That random capitalization and uncrossed 't' really add to the post-modernistic feel, too, don't you think?

"Plus, the pink dots add [jazz hands] pizazz!"


Angie C, you spin me right 'round.

Such Deers

It's becoming as "classic" (ie cliche) as the red-velvet armadillo cake, and yet guys still want dead Bambi for their groom's cake. Go fig.

Yeah, yeah, guys, I get it: you want your cake to show some personality, reflect your interests, and ideally gross-out the in-laws. But really, a giant dead animal on your wedding day? Really? This must be another time when my plumbing prevents me from grasping the intricacies of the male mind.

At least this one's still showing some signs of life:

Well, as much as the baker, anyway. (Ah, candid photos, how we loathe thee.)

Oh no, but look! He's sinking into the Swamps of Sadness! Fight against the sadness, Artax! Don't let it get to you! Just because you're about to be carved up and served on camouflage-print paper plates is no reason to get all down in the dumps! Artaaaaax!!

[sniffle] Sorry. I hate that part of the movie.


Ok, where were we? Oh, right, at the economy section:

Sure, it doesn't feed many people, but then no one will want to eat it anyway. See? A win-win. Plus, mad props to the garnisher; those green spriggy bits are really classing the joint up.

Of course if we've learned anything here on CW, it's that a green & purple party hat can make everything allll better:

(By the fabulous Tara of Tara's Cakes, who has an equally fabulous sense of humor.)

Like so.

I know we shouldn't look a gift deer in the mouth, but those buck teeth* are cracking me up. I can almost hear him saying, "Gawrsh! Why don't you carve yourself a slice? Ahuck!"

Still, I'll take goofy over spooky any day. And I'm not sure there's a chipper enough party hat in all the world to uncreepify this guy:

Sure, he's smiling, but that smile never quite reaches his eyes, you know? And he won't stop staring, like he knows something I don't.

Hey, you lookin' at me, punk? Yeah? Well quit your smirking, or I'll break your antlers off!

Oh, I'm sorry; I see someone already did. Huh. That had to hurt. Well, never mind.


Lauren S., Laura M., Erin C., Kaylee K., & Anony M. you sure know how to rack 'em.


*Get it? "Buck" teeth? Hah, that was the crowning touch, wasn't it?


Related Wreckage: You Say 'Redneck' Like it's a Bad Thing